Are you pulling yet another monkey wrench out of your wheels? Welcome to being human! You don’t have to let life knock you off your feet though. Here are the top 9 things to remember when life doesn’t seem to be going your way.
1. “This too, shall pass.”
Breathe! Embrace! Change! In life, everything is always changing, always shape-shifting… Although it can feel that you’re “stuck” you’re really not. Nothing in the universe is ever not in motion, so if it’s going in one direction, it can go in the other direction too. If you’re in a low spot, rest assured, you won’t be there for long. If you uplift yourself mentally and emotionally first, you can accelerate the upswing and actually keep yourself from sinking low in the future. Tip for instant inner peace: Know that what you’re going through, is for your higher good (yes, the best lessons are the hardest won). Accept the situation for what it is, and know that it will pass. The instant you plant the seed of an idea that represents a better situation, you set the wheels in motion to make that idea your reality.
2. Don’t react to the situation. Respond to it.
A reaction is automatic, based on your beliefs about the situation and your emotions. Is your first reaction the wisest one for you? Is your first reaction empowering you, or is it a knee-jerk survival reaction? Whenever possible, step back, try to see the situation with less emotion (calm down) and weigh your options. Respond only then. For example; You get fired at work. Your immediate reaction might be anger, which might result in some poor choices that will come back to bite you later on. So step back, breathe, calm down, and then respond, always with your ideal situation in the back of your mind (what steps can I take to make this situation work for me, not against me?). You, and you alone, are responsible for your emotions, your interpretation of a situation and your response so make sure your response is for your higher good.
3. Speaking of being responsible for your emotions, don’t allow jealousy to grip you.
Some people appear to have it right and have it all in their lives. Instead of being jealous, what can you learn from them? What traits and characteristics do they embody that could help you attain that level of success (or better)? Jealousy only eats away at your self-esteem, but learning from people who have it right will ultimately benefit you.
4. Become solution-oriented, not problem-oriented.
The more mental energy you give to the current situation (the problem) in your life, the more you will prolong it. Scientists have proven that when you’re sick and you talk about being sick, you extend the duration of the illness. Stop thinking and talking about “what is.” You already know “what is.” Complaining will do you no good. To mobilize your mind’s incredible problem-solving capacity, think ONLY of the ideal scenario. In the example above, give no thought to the illness, but instead think only of perfect health. Whatever your ideal situation is, give that your full attention and then be prepared to act on inspiration, synchronicity and opportunities that will inevitably follow.
5. Seek out help from your network.
Your network = your net worth! Like the Beatles said, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” That doesn’t mean dump your problems on them – but you can always ask, “what would you do if you were in my shoes?” and you can look at the people in your network and learn from those who are successful, the ones success always seems to follow. Spend more time with people who inspire and uplift you… and be okay with letting the toxic and draining relationships fall away.
6. Let go of things that don’t serve to your goals.
We all only have 24 hours in a day, so how do you fill your time? If you’re working your fingers to the bone for 8 hours a day trying to make your business succeed and then you go home and watch 3 hours of TV… you might protest, “I’m just relaxing! I need to decompress!” and while that’s true, you can accomplish that relaxation in a 30-minute meditation… and then do something that is aligned with your goals. For example, read a chapter… have a conversation with someone who’s stood in your shoes… hone your skills… seriously, if you jettisoned all the time-sucking activities and energy vampires from your life and devoted just 15 minutes – yes, 15 minutes – every day to your goals, you would achieve them remarkably quickly.
7. Look around you and acknowledge the good.
Recognise the things to be proud of and be grateful for. What achievements can you use to build your confidence? What did you do only once, that you can therefore do again? What blessings are disguised by your problems? What amazing lessons, insights and growth can you gain from this? Instead of focusing on your problems, transmute them into benefits. A dire financial situation can be incredibly liberating if you learn from it; a failed relationship can likewise enrich your life by opening your eyes to your creative role in life.
8. Keep developing, building with what you’ve learnt from your failures.
Never look at your failures as being bad. Look at them as lessons in how not to do things – lessons you would not have learnt otherwise. Failures are far more powerful teachers than successes. Like Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed! I have just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.” Think of your failures as practice, or rehearsal. This is when you get good at something! Be grateful for your struggles. It’s because of them that you have grown.
9. Your attitude is everything.
Your mindset will determine whether you allow a setback to knock you down and keep you down, or if you allow it to be a push in a better direction. Haute couture designer Vera Wang was once an aspiring figure skater. When she failed to make the Olympic team, she didn’t crumble and resign herself to regret because she “wasn’t good enough.” She redirected her energies and became one of the world’s most famous wedding gown designers. Keep a positive attitude about what happened. Own what happens – meaning, own your role in creating the situation – and from that moment, from that new starting point, creating something even better.